Unique challenges faced by couples with differing care needs

As we grow older, our bodies change and so do our health care needs. When families call us to inquire about their Mom & Dad moving to an assisted living program, they often ask what will happen if one of them needs a higher level of care, either for short term or perhaps longer.

In the frequent cases where in-home care is not a viable option, couples still have a variety of choices that can adequately accommodate both an individual with dementia or some other debilitating condition and his or her healthy spouse. Any number of physical ailments can cause one spouse to need a higher level of care than the other.

In an article from an online senior housing resource, one of the most important points to remember when helping a couple with differing care needs, it says, “You can’t approach each case with a cookie-cutter solution, you must be creative and adapt to each unique situation.”

At Lytton, we offer 3 levels of care: retirement living, assisted living and our skilled nursing health care center. We also have a large rehab gym for convenient therapy during recovery.This allows us a unique opportunity to provide creative solutions for our couples should one of them need more care.

Henry and Fern, were faced with this decision 3 years ago. Fern needed to increase her level of care to Assisted Living, while Henry was still at another skilled nursing facility. Since staying together was very important to them, they wanted to find a solution that could accommodate both of their needs.

Once Fern was settled in her Assisted apartment, Lytton worked with the family to bring Henry to our campus so they could be together. We were able to bring Henry to the Health Care Center where he lives on the 4th floor, while Fern lives on the 1st floor of our Assisted Living - right across the courtyard!

“We can see each other -- it is the best! If it weren’t for this place, we could not see each other."

"We have 5 assisted living apartments for couples and we always try to keep them together, however, sometimes one of our residents will fall or need more medical care from our skilled nursing." says Doris Lee, Director of Assisted Living. "Our unique set-up allows us the flexibility to keep couples together, even if it isn't in the same room, at least they can be on campus together and attend events and activities together."

Here are 4 of our resident couples with some things they love about Lytton, and each other!

Jimmy and Bea - married 64 years

(living at Lytton for 2 years)
"The best thing about Lytton Gardens is that we get to live together." Bea says…”I still laugh at his jokes. I take care of him. He is still my little baby.” "It is our choice to eat together. We get to eat all of our meals together here at Lytton Gardens. It is our choice to eat together. We belong together.”

Jimmy says…”At Lytton Gardens, we are old but we are young at heart.”

Bea says…”I won’t trade him in.”

Jimmy says..."The man should always obey." They both laugh and chuckle.

Nelson and Jeanne - married 60 years

(living at Lytton almost 3 years)

Nelson says, “Living at Lytton, it’s hard getting used to not doing anything for yourself…they take very good care of you”.

Jeanne says,“That figurine over there, used to say “Hotter than a pot belly stove”…So I made sure I got a pot belly stove.”

As we sit there chatting, an Oregon Junco (bird) comes to enjoy their beautiful garden. They traveled in Oregon for many years…the Juncos birds follow them here to Lytton.

Henry and Fern - married 72 years
(living at Lytton 3 years)

Henry has been at 2 other facilities. He says of the 3, Lytton Gardens is by far the best!
"We can see each other-it is the best! If it weren’t for this place, we could not see each other."

Fern says…"I used to walk over to get him and walk him back. Now, he can walk here by himself. He comes to spend time with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the afternoon. I can go to him anytime. But it’s nice that he comes to visit me here too.”

This is our turtle, Mustache. He loves it here too! He's 40 years old.

Roy and Maxine - married 55 years
(living at Lytton 25 years)

When asked about Lytton Gardens, they said Lytton has done a great job
of accommodating them as a couple. They lived in Independent Living
when they first made Lytton their home 25 years ago. They were apart
for only a very short period when Maxine was in the Health Care Center
and Roy was in Assisted Living. Now they have a room together in the
Health Care Center on the 4th floor.

Roy says, "With a modest price, this can't be beat!" Maxine says, "I've been quite happy here!"

They love the events and activities here. Roy and Maxine especially love
the musical and entertainment groups that come through. Roy also
enjoys the geography and history speakers.

"We feel very fortunate to be together. We take care of each other."